Farting in Marriage

September 28, 2009 · Posted in marriage 

There are two kinds of marriages: those with farting and those without. After trying the first, I happen to have opted for the latter. Call me kooky.
When my friends hear this, they’re probably going to say that they don’t understand how one of the most crass people on earth finds this disgusting. They’ll probably say it’s “really unhealthy” as if Hannibal (my husband) and I have each been clenching 24/7 since the moment we met. We’ve actually let many rip, but I’ve decided as of last night (when I planted one right on his thigh), that we should probably do that in the bathroom.
People act like not ripping f-bombs in front of each other all the live-long day is somehow less than honest. I couldn’t disagree more. It’s not like I’m not being myself. I’m just choosing to not be the grossest possible version of myself. Is that so wrong? I mean, is farting in front of each other or peeing with the door open (which I actually do) really a sign of love and affection? Pretty much the last thing I think after Hannibal blows up the bathroom is, “Mmm, sexy.”
I don’t want to be down there thinking about the last smell I remember wafting up my nostrils.
When it comes to bathroom habits and the like, I say familiarity breeds contempt. What do you say?
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Comments

  • http://facebook.com/profile.php?id=736050218 Georgette Countee

    I can't think of anything to say because I am laughing too hard!

  • http://facebook.com/profile.php?id=652071874 Jose Rodriguez

    lol… Nice!!!!

  • http://facebook.com/profile.php?id=614456097 JaNai Humphrey ΔΣθ

    ummm ok.

  • http://facebook.com/profile.php?id=30602788 Pharaoh Augustine-Ile

    Lol….

  • http://facebook.com/profile.php?id=724401192 Tylesha Allen

    LOL, that's hilarious if only my beau agreed with you.

  • Hannibal Tabu, The Operative

    Fun fact? She let one rip right after this photo was taken. Photographer Leroy Hamilton was aghast.

    KIDDING! I joke, I joke, I keed … >8^)

  • http://myshelltabu.com/marital-mondays/marital-mondays-man-shrine/ Myshell Tabu

    [...] hairs and feces, nails clipped and smelling all fresh. Between that, our queen sized bed and our fart free zone (which honestly isn’t going so well), we’re sure to be cuddling ’til the cows [...]

  • Shell’s Groove

    Here is the Music Player. You need to installl flash player to show this cool thing!

  • Who am I?

    Author: Myshell Tabu

    Wife. Mother. Advice columnist. Designer. Dancer.

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