Film Friday: “Kidumentary”
Thematic Thursdays: Sinus Walks
I’ve been walking every Thursday with my friend. She just had a baby, too. At first we were walking at this really nice track in the hills, but the pollen was seeping into my soul and causing my nose to turn against me. Every week I’d come home and snot up an entire roll of toilet paper by 2am. Then I’d nearly scratch my eyeballs out trying to wipe away the never-ending itch.
Last week, I decided that we would walk indoors at the mall instead. We both agreed to leave our wallets in the car so we could focus on walking — only I didn’t uphold my end of the agreement. My walking partner is always late, and when she found me I was face deep in Sephora drooling over eye shadow. I bought a palate of Urban Decay eye shadow and some really good mascara (I can’t remember the name of it).
Anyway, I wore it on Saturday. By noon that day, my eyes were itching like hell! I washed my face, but my sinuses still managed to cut off my air supply. Then the drip started. Another roll of toilet paper gone. I can’t win for losing.
Workin’ Wednesday: The Funeral
Last week my friend’s cousin, Francis Dougal, was murdered in Belize. He was only 26 years old and her mother had helped raise him, so it was devastating for her family. When scrambling to help her mother plan for the funeral, she immediately thought of Suuru Designs. I told her to send the photos and text right over.
The preparation involved in planning a funeral can be very overwhelming when mourning the loss of a loved one. It is important for those responsible for arranging the funeral to know that they don’t have to do it alone. My company has been helping families create lasting memories for nearly a decade. A funeral program provides a way to honor the memory of a loved one for years to come. Using meaningful visual imagery, it is a concrete keepsake that shares and celebrates the life and accomplishments of the deceased.
The death of a loved one does not allow much time to create this symbol of closure, as generally the service rapidly succeeds the death. Suuru Designs is capable of acting quickly and creating something that a family can embellish to reflect the personality of the recently departed. We are happy to make any necessary revisions once all family members have agreed.
Tuesdays With Mooch: The Playdate
This weekend, Mooch’s BFF came over for a play date turned sleepover and the kids had a great time. They went to the park and the Vegan Joint in Culver City. Then they came home for dress up, dolls, and learning Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” choreography from YouTube (Mooch is obsessed. Don’t ask). Here are some pics, so you can relive this joyous experience (Before you guys ask why these pics are so awful, I DIDN’T take them, Hannibal did. Yes, I just threw him under a bus, because I love him. 
Marital Mondays: It’s Better to Have a Dirty Husband
I’ve been like the girl from “Coming to America” ever since Hannibal bought me a Mac Book Pro for Mother’s day. Well maybe I haven’t quite been hopping up and down on one foot while barking like a dog, but I cooked dinner at least once last week. It was lasagna, and everyone loved it. Hannibal loved it so much he tried to kill me and the baby! Here’s how:
Hannibal picked up some dry cleaning last week and brought it into the house. He did this for the fundraising gala we went to, because I wouldn’t let him go to a fancy event for our daughter’s new school in jeans and a Shazam t-shirt. He thinks that’s suitable wardrobe for everything from a hip hop concert to a nuclear reactor.
Then Friday night he offhandedly tells me that pregnant and breastfeeding women aren’t supposed to go near dry cleaned clothes. I said, “You’re kidding, right? We share a closet.” He sighed, the way he sighs when he has to repeat something four times because I’m daydreaming about penis or imagining that I’m a Viking.
Then he said “Seriously. I read that today, and we don’t share a closet. Yours is just overflowing, so you put crap in mine.” He wasn’t telling me anything that interested me, so, of course, I told him to shut up and get back to the part about him trying to kill me with his recently laundered dashiki.
“Where did you read that? I asked. He told me it popped up in his face while he was surfing the net, so I google it, and lo and behold there were tons and tons and tons of links about it. Apparently, there’s a chemical called perchloroethylene that most dry cleaners use, and it can stay in your house for up to a week. It is found in breastmilk after being inhaled. It causes dizziness, and all sorts of other shit. I think it also causes shows like According to Jim and gives you a strange desire to dress like Lady Gaga.
Then I started to wonder why they don’t put this kind of stuff in the parenting magazines instead of running the same annual articles about tantrums and sibling rivalries. Have you read these things: “Stress Free Birthday Party Planning” and “Make Nap Time a Dream?” WTF? So, I’ve decided that I’m going to write a letter to that pesky Parent Magazine telling them that I hired elves to set my husband’s zoot suits on fire and it’s all their faults. I’ll let you know how it goes. Maybe.
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Author: Myshell Tabu
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