Tuesdays With Mooch: Prince Teaches Mooch About Starfish and Coffee
Mooch recorded a Prince song two weeks ago. Her school has this annual tradition of secretly swapping handmade gifts. The parents are supposed to help, but they are not to spend *any* money. Mooch’s secret person was named Sophie Rose, and she wanted to make the girl a puzzle, so we did. Luckily, we had two in the closet in case we screwed up.
I figured we were done. Then Mooch was all, “Our teacher said that gifts last year included a homemade chess board.” That’s when we thought maybe we weren’t taking this seriously, so Hannibal decided she should record a song for the girl.
Mooch had heard “Starfish and Coffee” a couple of times in Hannibal’s car, and decided to swap out the name “Cynthia Rose” for “Sophie Rose.” Here’s the final gift (click the link below to hear the song).
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Marital Mondays: 12 Things Your Husband Wants To Say
This is my Kwanzaa gift to all of the husbands out there (since I won’t be blogging during Kwanzaa, because I’ll be busy molesting elves and chugging candied yams from a keg). It is Myshell’s Top Twelve Things Your Husband Wishes He Could Tell You Without You Copping That Eastside Attitude. The parentheticals are my gift to the ladies (Husbands, don’t read anything inside of the parenthesis or this mostly won’t be a good gift for you). Wait, that was inside of parenthesis. Husbands, from this point on, don’t read anything inside of parenthesis.
Here we go:
12. If you ask a question you don’t want the answer to, expect to get your feelings hurt. (So don’t ask why that midget keeps following him through the grocery store. Just accept it. Maybe join in a little.)
11. You can tell him how to do it or you can ask him to do it; you can’t do both. (I prefer the former, but sort of phrase it like a question. Like this, “Don’t you wanna make me a Tofurky sandwich on lightly toasted bread with spinach, veggie mayo and mustard?” True story.)
10. He doesn’t read minds, but he can hear. (So, be sure you’re loud and clear when you cuss his ass out for drinking the last drop of lemonade.)
9. If the lid is up, put it down. You don’t hear him complaining about having to lift it up. (In our house, the whole thing is down for equal opportunity purposes. Everyone has to at least lift the lid. It’s also down so Fuss won’t use the toilet water as lipstick, but that’s a different blog for a different day.)
8. Shopping doesn’t equal quality time for him anymore than sports equals quality time for you. (But, if you blow him in the bathroom of Macy’s, the shopping trip is totally quality-time-and-a-half.)
7. Make him lists. They clarify a lot of things. (I like to include details like: Lick all crumbs from the toaster)
6. If you don’t want to wear Victoria’s Secret Lingerie, don’t expect him to act like a soap opera guy. (Don’t wear the lingerie if he doesn’t wash his balls, though. There’s no reason for your g-string to be smelling all grody.)
5. If he says something and it can be taken two ways – he didn’t mean it the way that is hurtful or upsetting. (Unless you sleep with his best friend. Then he’s really mad, so run.)
4. If you tell him to “just forget it” — chances are he is going to. (Especially if it’s something he did wrong and this is an opportunity to get out of the doghouse for slapping your mama at Thanksgiving dinner.)
3. Don’t be subtle — he is not good with nuances. (So be sure to speak, use sign language, show cleavage and borrow that midget from question number one when communicating with him.)
2. If you want him to play detective, don’t get defensive when he asks questions. (Just roll your eyes and keep asking, “Are you done yet?”)
1. Finally, love, honor and cherish does not mean he can’t be grumpy at being woken up at 6 on a Saturday morning when he don’t have to go to work… (It does mean that you don’t have to give him any morning nookie or make those waffles that he loves so much.)
See how we can all get along in marriage? Happy Kwanzaa! Umoja and all that good stuff.
Film Fridays: The Government is Trying to Take You Out
Have you noticed the pretty sky writing over Los Angeles lately — only it ain’t quite sky writing, because it doesn’t say anything? Yeah … they’re spraying chemicals on you. Many of you may have heard about chemtrails already. Someone may have even convinced you that it’s just a conspiracy theory. Well, you should think again.
Of course NBC won’t give a straight answer:
Rosalind Peterson spearheads a watchdog group that monitors uncontrolled experimental weather modification programs, atmospheric heating and testing programs, and ocean and atmospheric experimental geoengineering programs Peterson is at the forefront of the chemtrail research field and how the unexplained patterns that scar our skies are “causing detrimental human health effects and environmental degradation.”
Voluminous numbers of unclassified documents from 1977 Senate hearings cite chemical spraying by both private and commercial aircraft. Recent admissions by public officials strengthen the case. Fallout from these chemical trails has been tested and shows very high levels of barium and aluminum. Interesting to note that Monsanto announced that they recently developed an aluminum-resistant gene to be introduced.
Thematic Thursdays: Groceries
I’m not sure what happened to chivalry, because I definitely passed by several “neighbors” on my way in. Anyway, this is me carrying four green 15 pound bags of groceries on each shoulder, a diaper bag full of sample yearbooks, a laptop bag and a thirty pound baby. Please excuse my face. I had already walked down the driveway and up a flight of stairs when Mooch decided she “had” to take a picture. On a positive note: I got all of this at Trader Joe’s for just 60 bucks! Choose Joy!
Workin’ Wednesdays: Little Sparks Are Flying
As Head Athletic Trainer for the Los Angeles Sparks, Courtney Watson knows fitness. She has trained such professional athletes as LA’s own, Trevor Ariza (New Orleans Hornets) and Lisa Leslie (LA Sparks).
Her column, Courtney’s Corner, is a one-stop shop for nutrition, fitness, health management and injury prevention advice. Courtney’s Corner is housed on the Los Angeles Sparks official website.
In addition to her position with the Sparks, Courtney provides training services to the athletic departments at Westchester High School, Manual Arts High School, various UC Berkeley sports teams and many other local schools.
Courtney recently ran a successful middle school training clinic, where she recognized the need for clinics for a younger target age demographic (ages 3-10). She is launching the first Courtney’s Corner ATHLETIC TRAINING KIDS CLINIC and she hired Suuru to design the logo.
I’m still in the development phases, but here is what I have so far.
And here’s my favorite holiday card design of the week. I did it over the weekend.
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