Archive for January, 2011

Marital Mondays: Man Shrine

A lifetime of listening to your husband moan as he removes the hair from his ears and gargle the tune of Coldplay’s “The Scientist” is sure to send the marital romance in the relationship spiraling clockwise down the drain with a mouthful of Tom’s Natural Toothpaste. I won’t start on the feminine rituals involving blood, razors, makeup removal and tweezing. Let’s just say that this past week in our house has reminded me that it’s okay to have one or two places in the house that we don’t share.

I’ve essentially moved out of the bathroom that Hannibal and I used to share for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship or use of the space. I now go to the girls’ bathroom to do everything. Even though the issue that encouraged me to move seems to be resolved, I may continue to use the Mooch and Fuss facilities.

We lost our office space when we succumbed to an inundation of toys and sleep deprivation and allowed Fuss to have her own room. As a result, we both feel a little displaced. My paperwork is right next to the bed, which drives me crazy when I’m getting ready to go to sleep. Hannibal’s stuff is all in backpacks that are shuffled nomad-style from his recliner to the bedroom as needed. When we get a larger place, all of this will be resolved as a fourth bedroom will give us our office back. Until then, I don’t think a little piss privacy and freedom from girl grooming is a bad thing for Hannibal. I also love the girl’s shower, lighting, and bathroom size much better (also, there are no ‘man hairs’ anywhere in their bathroom).

It’s like we’re dating again. He comes out free of nose hairs and feces, nails clipped and smelling all fresh. Between that, our queen sized bed and our fart free zone (which honestly isn’t going so well), we’re sure to be cuddling ’til the cows come home.

“If something I say can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you angry or sad, I meant the other way.” –Hannibal (circa 2007)

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Thematic Thursdays: Facebook Phone? Meh.

I’m ready to throw my phone out of the window. If I had not ignored all of my cell phone research and been a little less impulsive, I would not be stuck with this rounded rectangle of worthless polymers and circuits. I say all of this to say that, I would never by another HTC — even if Facebook is coming out with one next month.

If anyone is going to pull off a socially-connected device, it’s your boy, Mark. However, I don’t know how the company plans to overcome HTC’s hardware setbacks and sluggish interface (To be fair, a lot of my trouble is the Windows software, but still). The fact that the Facebook phone is going to be heavily cloud based is also a turn off.

Though I’ve become increasingly bored with both Facebook and my phone, I won’t deny that user interface is what got Facebook where it is today. When MySpace coughed up it’s guts, because 50 million chicks added glitter and slideshows to their pages, Facebook kept it simple. Maybe the phone will do the same. I don’t know, though. We’ve already seen one social-networking phone fail miserably. Will this one succeed?

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Tuesdays With Mooch and Fuss: Sand Angels

Mooch lost the training wheels and Fuss experienced sand for the first time this past Sunday. The girls were itching for some outdoor time, so we headed down to our local park. There were no casualties. Fuss, however, almost made it to the car with a large rock in her mouth without our noticing.

Picking A Spot

Pep Talk

Maybe the seat should be higher

Off to a rocky start

Maybe my sister should try this another day

Where has sand been all my life?

On the move


Sand Angel

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Marital Mondays: Fela! and a Bunch of Geeks

Hannibal’s birthday weekend got off to a shaky start. He was ready to bolt from Elephant Bar in La Mirada when the baby sitter called with a change of plans. “Let’s bounce. Let’s go home and get her.” He said, scooting back from the table. I took my cell phone outside to call people for a work around. The situation was settled, but when I got back to the table, the other three couples were wrapping up their meals. I ended up getting my food in a to-go container, and the manager comped my meal, because the waitress had gotten wrong the first time.

The theater had open seating, so Hannibal and another person in our party rushed off to Fela! to hold seats for us. We were about ten minutes late, but the show was amazing — even on screen! Replete with high-energy African/Modern dance, live Afro-beat music and one of the best possible actors narrating the whole thing, the show had me on the edge of my seat — though Fuss was still in the forefront of my mind.

After the show, we went back to the hotel room and (rated R), then watched TV and fell unconscious. Hannibal slept for a looonnnnng time. I woke up to pump my breasts, of course. Also, Sleep Numbers beds aren’t that great — FYI. There was breakfast in the morning and then we came back home to see the kids and work.

Hannibal thought it was going to be a normal Saturday and that his birthday festivities were over. I had other plans. I secretly placed a huge Dominoes Pizza order online and encouraged Hannibal to open the Vestax DJ Turntables that I bought him and set them up. He did. When it was time to feed Fuss at five, I told him I had to go deposit my check and move my car from the street to the driveway. Instead Mooch and I ran to get balloons, cups, plates and juice, and left them in the car.

He gave Fuss her bath and I put her to bed. When it was time to read to Mooch, I told him I’d go start our dinner. Meanwhile, guys were starting to congregate near our front door. I had an outfit on under the robe I was wearing, which Hannibal didn’t notice. Also, makeup was gradually appearing on my face. While he read the story, I ran to the car to get the balloons and such and said hello to the guys. I texted a few more and they were running late, so I stashed the balloons in the bedroom and texted the first guys to ring the bell. When they did, I made sure I was in the refrigerator when Hannibal came to open the door, so he would see that my face full of fierce makeup.

The geeks entered the building and Hannibal’s Surprise Geek Together went over well. He had an evening of discussion about Inception, Star Wars, Caprica, and more. They picked locks, played guitar, watched crap on YouTube, and yammered into the wee hours of the morning while I worked in the bedroom. I think all of my Capricorns had good birthdays. *Myshell falls over unconscious*

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Thematic Thursdays: Brilliant.

I totally have to show this to Mooch!!! A while back she started collecting all of the toilet paper rolls in the house and decorating them. She said she would “save the planet one toilet paper roll at a time.” The other day, I found this website that is freaking amazing. Mooch is on to something. Here is some of the toilet paper roll artwork:

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