Archive for February, 2011

Marital Mondays: Sorry, Prince. Maybe I’m Not Really a Fan

Hannibal has ruined a Prince song for me. Seriously. Apparently, the song “Live and Come Back,” which I thought was a song about reincarnation is actually saying “Little Red Corvette” and it’s about some fast hoochie mama.

Despite the evidence on Google, I still believe that the Prince was explaining the Buddhist afterlife.


Also, I thought Prince sang, “Oh, Sheila.”  It’s actually Ready for the World.  I’d blame this on my age, but I have no fewer than 10 friends my age, who probably knew this stuff already.  To be fair, Prince did write the song (I think), so I’m not that out of it.  I’m pretty sure this is because my mom only listened to talk radio and my dad only listened to jazz on 88.1.  Right.  That’s it.

Ready For The World – Oh Sheila

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Thematic Thursdays: My Top Video Game Characters of All Time

Here they are in no particular order, because I don’t really have favorites other than the color lime green.

Mario – Does Super Mario Brothers really need an explanation? Really?

Ryu – Hadouken!

Zelda – This game never got boring to me. It holds a special place in my third heart. 😉

Solid Snake – There was nothing like being seven years old and playing with my Snake in Metal Gear. While I’m sure the series, which is now in it’s fourth edition, has come a long way, my only experience lies with the original.

Pac-Man – Nom nom nom. Classic!

Sonic the Hedgehog – I freakin’ loved Sonic! What’s better than a ball of blue fur spinning around? It only took a day and a half to beat, though. When I first saw him tap his foot impatiently, I lost it!

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Tuesdays With Mooch and Fuss: Bikes and Elbows

Last Thursday, after many unsuccessful attempts, Mooch learned how to ride her bike! I am so happy for her. The surgery is paying off! She was fearless about the surgery, because she wanted to become fearless about physical activity.

Having lived her entire life seeing double, she is now able to do the things all of her friends can do. She conquered ice skating on her birthday and now she is training wheel free. Take a look!

Fuss has moved to short sentences. Her latest phrases are, “Aw, man!” “I see ya” “More please” “All done,” and “Be right back.” She’s taller, of course. She is now turning the knobs on the stove, opening the bathroom doors and climbing into beds. We’ve spent the last two weeks focusing on eyes, knees and elbows, which she seems obsessed with.

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Marital Mondays: In Honor of Malcolm X …

… my blog has been stolen by elves.  Today was the day he was assassinated in 1965.  May he rest in peace.

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Thematic Thursdays: My Comic Book Reviews Will Save Your Kids From Sheep Orgies

It’s midnight, and I’ve been trying to figure out what my blog is going to be about for the past two hours, when it dawned on me that I could just write comic book reviews like Hannibal!

So what if each Wednesday he reads upwards of 30 books. I barely need to read them at all, because I’m awesome. Also, I’m a genius *sticks out tongue*. Also, I didn’t even have to buy any of them, so this column is not going to be called The Buy Pile like his. This column is called The I Didn’t Buy This, But You Still Have Only 60 Seconds to Impress Me Pile. If that’s too long for you, you can eat it. Or, you can shorten it to IDBTBYSHO6STIMP. That’s internet language for “eat it.”

Let’s get started:

Avengers Academy —

(M: Wait. How do I find what number issue this is? H: Have you looked on the cover? M: Is it this little 9 right here? H: Yes.)

Avengers Academy #9 —

Here’s a comic book that puts so many other numbers on the cover that the issue number doesn’t even pop out. The tiger-striped chick in the blue bikini is almost enough to lure the reader back in, but the red Skeletor-looking freak in the background is enough to deflate the boner of even a fluffer on the set of Monster’s Ball. Next.

Fables #102 — Here’s a book that is worth reading. After 50 million crossover issues, Fables is still asking questions like, “What are you doing way out here in the ass-end of the great nowhere?” That’s such an awesome question. I wonder that all the time — like when I lose my car in a parking structure or when I can’t find my way back to my seat at the Staples Center.

Fables is the “Where Are They Now” story about nostalgic cartoon characters. Pinocchio is in there. Cinderella is a spy, and Snow White is married to The Big Bad Wolf. Go figure. I always knew those Disney stories were about sex, S & M, and bestiality. Don’t let your kids watch that stuff. It’s awful. They may sleep with sheep when they become teens. Then they’ll click the like button on Facebook for “sleeping with sheep” and all of their friends will know that they like to sleep with sheep. Only instead of shunning them, their friends will be like, “Cool! I totally want to sleep with sheep also, because sleep and sheep rhyme.” Boom! That’s how your kids ended up in a giant sheep orgy.

Legion of Super-Heroes #10 — I’m too sleepy to review another book. It’s colorful, though. How does Hannibal do this every week? *Myshell falls over unconscious*

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