Marital Mondays: Secret Marriage
We went to Eastside Mario’s in Lakewood Sunday for a friend’s going away party (Well, she was visiting for a week and Sunday was her last day in town). Anyway, the young lady sitting across the table from us was in the throes of planning her wedding, which is taking place next Saturday.
After hitting her with his “taser parenting” bit and watching her chuckle admirably at our witty banter, Hannibal decided to offer her and her well-maintained mother, who was sitting right next to her, some advice. “You see, it’s her day. It’s not about him. It’s not about you. It’s about her.” It’s interesting that he would say that, because that ain’t what he was hollering a month before our wedding. *side eye* He’s, apparently, learned so much under my tutelage. Just kidding. The day is about the couple as a unit — not just the woman.
I agree with part of his statement, though. Her mother was really controlling everything from the style and cut of her dress to the outline of the day. She was choosing hymns, adding communion and insisting that she and her dad “give her away.” I can’t get with the being given away like property thing, but to each her own. In her mother’s defense, she’s “paying for the whole thing.”
I sort of drifted off in thought and wished my mother were alive during my commitment ceremony plans — even if it was just to argue over what color the dress was (it was hot pink, by the way). I thought about how she wouldn’t have allowed us to pay for a thing. I wouldn’t have had to beg strangers and bums for handouts and negotiate with vendors using a shotgun. She would have supported our low budget, progressive ideas, and hip-hop flavor. I’m sure she would have also reminded me that her wedding dress was yellow, and she’d been married for thirty-five years, so white wasn’t necessary. I don’t think my mother and I would have beefed at all. That wasn’t the nature of our relationship.
The daughter we spoke to over Italian fare seemed to want a simple, inexpensive wedding as well, but her momzilla was living vicariously through her. At one point she stated, “These are the things I’m going to do at my wedding if I ever get married, but I’ll probably be in a wheel chair by then.” She asked to see our pics, so I showed her a few on my phone. “See mom, she wore a short dress!” she exclaimed, looking ready to start all over with her plans. I felt sorry for her, because I remember that space — everyone from bridesmaids to the groom telling you how things should be done. If I had it to do over, the two of us would go right back to Kenneth Hahn Park (where I proposed) in pajamas all by ourselves and belt out Sting’s “Secret Marriage” at the top of our lungs at sunset.
No earthly church has ever blessed our union
No state has ever granted us permission
No family bond has ever made us two
No company has ever earned commission
No debt was paid no dowry to be gained
No treaty over border land or power
No semblance of the world outside remained
To stain the beauty of this nuptial hour
The secret marriage vow is never spoken
The secret marriage can never be broken
No flowers on the altar
No white veil in your hair
No maiden dress to alter
No bible oath to swear
The secret marriage vow is never spoken
The secret marriage can never be broken
Sting
“Secret Marriage”
Thematic Thursdays: The Big Chop … Sort of
Chopping off all of your hair can be a daunting prospect, especially when you have a head the size of a small watermelon. People have very specific ideas about how their heads should look and how their hair should frame their faces. Believe me, you don’t want to go for the big chop and come out looking like a pork chop.
So when I finally decided to clip my tresses at Jasmine Ashley Salon in Los Angeles, I knew I was taking a chance. The shop owner, Jasmine, has run her fingers through the crops of Raven Simone and Kellee Stewart. That’s a pretty good recommendation in itself. As it turned out, I needn’t have worried. I was in good hands — from weaves to bobs, everyone who walked out of there looked like a star.
Jasmine Ashley Salon has the advantage of an excellent location, on Wilshire Boulevard adjacent to Beverly Hills. Anyone searching for peace will find it between the relaxing purple walls of this salon. Fuchsia color blocks create nice backdrops for modern art and Indo-Asian accent pieces. Contemporary work stations line each wall and the dryers are in a nice secluded getaway upstairs.
Find peace boring? There are flat screens both upstairs and downstairs and everything from neo-soul to R&B may float through the air softly from time to time.
Once I was seated in Jasmine’s chair, the consultation began. “Why do you want to cut all your hair off?” She asked plainly, staring me directly in the eyes. When I replied that I was tired of doing my hair, she was honest about the maintenance of a short hairstyle. The main thing that struck me was when she asked, “How have you been wearing your hair?” I, of course, ran through my litany of locs, cornrows, twist outs, weaves, wraps, and bantu knots. I wasn’t sure why she was asking me that until she asked, “Are you willing to give up all that versatility?”
I hadn’t really considered that. I had only thought about my itchy scalp, my split ends, my weak spots, etc. And I was done. She had a very interesting point, though. I probably will want a weave or twists in a couple of weeks. What would I do without a little bit of hair to play with? After staring in the mirror at my own confused face for a couple of minutes, I decided that a little hair left on top, just in case, wouldn’t be a bad idea.
With that, Jasmine grabbed the clippers, and my friend visiting from DC picked up the camera, and magic began. She took lots hair off of the back and sides and left some on top for me to play with. I can even rock it natural, glue in tracks (for a full head), or wear it wet and curly. I’m excited! Not only that, but it has a red tint. I love color. I can wear it spiky, flat, forward, backward, and clipped, so I shouldn’t get bored.
The staff and customers were all very comforting and familiar — from Rosie, who shampooed my hair to a fellow patron, who encourage my leap of faith. My time in Jasmine’s chair was fun and she really put me at ease. I’m sure I will end up going even shorter now that I know my head is not shaped like a chair, but I’m grateful to Jasmine Ashley Salon for holding my hand through this very important step on my journey.
Location: 5367 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90036
Phone: 323-424-7400
Hours: Call for Appointment
Tuesdays With Mooch and Fuss: Bowling
Yippee! Bowling!
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- Bowling Shoes!
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- Hugging the pin
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- Balls!
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- Bowling
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- Bowling Balls
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- Mooch Bowling
Marital Mondays: 2 Years
I didn’t want to write another sappy anniversary blog this year, though I’m ecstatic that it’s been two years and I haven’t had the urge to skin Hannibal’s toe knuckles. Nope, not sappy.
Anyway, instead of that, I decided to post some Hannibal & Myshell everyday one liners.
M: You’re making the “I don’t want to be bothered with you right now” face
H: No, I’m making the “I had this conversation with you three weeks ago” face
M: I don’t even remember the conversation we had at the dinner table *tonight*!!!
M: I don’t even know what Justin Beiber looks like. I couldn’t pick him out of a lineup.
H: Easy. You just pick the dollar sign standing there. That’s what Usher did.
M: You’re anti-blonde hair, right? I’m going gray at a rapid rate and I need a coverage plan.
H: Why don’t you just go gray?
M: Have you met me? I’m 30 and I still show leg and wear my tits out. I’m trying to do my grown and sexy cougar thang!
H: Baby, you’re too young to be a cougar. You’re barely a puma! And, that’s only ’cause you’re rocking the tennis shoes.
M: Do you like my toe nail design? It’s like the sun made out of rhinestones.
H: I don’t really like toes near my face unless I’m sucking them. You should take a picture of it and email it to me. I’ll analyze it that way and get back to you.
This is our marriage. And I love it.
Thematic Thursdays: Grassroots Film Diva
No men in dresses. No gimmicks. No plot contrived to promote religion. Just a story that looks at life and grief with more joy and triumph than sorrow.
A new independent, dramatic feature film “I Will Follow” about a thirty-something woman, who suffers the loss of her aunt, opens this Friday, March 11. Roger Ebert had nothing but positive things to say about the film, which stars Salli Richardson-Whitfield, Beverly Todd, and Omari Hardwick.
Ms. Duvernay’s film is creating a new path for black cinema and filmmaking for African-Americans. Instead of perpetuating the images we see far too often on the big screen (i.e. death as a result of gang violence or at the hands of a police officer), “I Will Follow” presents characters and circumstances more like those we see each day in real life (black people do die of natural causes sometimes, ya know?).
When I heard Ava on KPFK this morning, I couldn’t think of a better way for Hannibal and I to spend our 2nd wedding anniversary than supporting a woman, who didn’t wait for Hollywood to approve of her movie and produce it. She shot it independently in eleven days, with a borrowed high def DV Camera, and promoted it with her own PR firm, DVA Media + Marketing. This weekend, we’ll be in Santa Monica.
The film also stars Blair Underwood (“The Event”), Dijon Talton (“Glee”), Michole White (“She Hate Me”), and Tracie Toms (“The Devil Wears Prada”).
AMC Santa Monica Criterion 6
AMC 34th Street – New York City
AMC Southcenter 16 – Seattle
AMC Cherry Hill – Philadelphia
The film will be released in other cities in the coming weeks.
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