Archive for September, 2011

Thematic Thursdays: Is That Yo’ Chick?

Gone are the days when geeks kept their freak flags folded neatly and tucked inside of their latest issue of Superboy and the Legion of Superheroes. There is no longer shame in being an adult who watches anime, reads Southside Nefertiti, or plays Call of Duty until numb in the thumbs.

Even with Donald Glover starring in Community weekly, Cornel West in frequent political debates and Mos Def dropping knowledge on the daily, the term “geek” still conjures up images of Steve Urkel in his Sally Jesse Raphael glasses or Carlton on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Black geeks in the media are nothing new, though. KRS-One, Poor Righteous Teachers, and even Kwame outed himself as a comic book geek in 1989 with “rhymes like the thunder bolts of the Mighty Thor.”

The geek chic stylings of a skateboard toting Pharrell Williams, Chris Brown’s skinny jeans, nor Kanye’s oversized glasses seem to have helped Black geek guys realize that they can attract black women. The question is, “Do they even want to?”

Without delving too deeply into Jim Crow Laws, forbidden fruit, the media’s perception of beauty and the “pure white woman” ideology, which are all difficult to negate in interracial relationships in general, some Black geeks, particularly those with a geeky profession believe non-black women are more “supportive” of their nerd tendencies.

Joseph* a technology and video game journalist from Brooklyn writes, “Yes, I have dated outside of my race. White, Hispanic, Asian.” Joseph is not alone. Fifteen of the twenty men interviewed for this article were married to non-black women and eighteen had routinely dated outside of their race. Joseph is single and claims to “maintain a sense of self in all situations.” He is currently dating a Serbian, an African, and an African-American. He says he has definitely experienced a lack of tolerance from Black women with regards to his geekdom. “You have to remember, non-geek girls didn’t appreciate geeks until recently…There were no “I Love Geek Boys” shirts when I was a kid! But, as comics, gaming, sci-fi, and fantasy went mainstream, their eyes were opened to hobbies we already dug.”

Tim*, an illustrator in the Atlanta Area, says, “I needed someone who would stay out of my way and not require much of my time, so I married a Japanese woman. I crank out several pages per day some days, and I couldn’t find a sista who would deal with my lack of availability. Our marriage just works.” He went on to state that he needed a relationship that required less work, because he places his career first.

Ironically, the majority of the men interviewed currently fight for racial equality in their respective fields (film, comics, etc.). Only one of them shows any pictures of his white wife on the web.

John*, a fantasy/sci-fi writer in San Francisco, wrote:

“My problems with the comics industry, and entertainment in general, are focused around Blackness because that impacts my career and forward motion, but what we go through is even worse for Asian Americans and, bizarrely, gay people (considering how many gay people are in the industry in positions of power). What I really am about is a flat playing field for everybody.

To me that’s what the struggle was always about; not asserting Black dominance but simply forcing the nation to live up to the sign over the door. I don’t want anything extra. I want a fair shot. A flat field means I win, because all I have to worry about is being good. Which I am.”

John’s wife is Irish-American and she is “SO not a geek.” John also asserted that his wife is “in no way passive” and that she was just there for him during some really tough times. He argues that, “The question isn’t ‘Why are so many geeks with people of other ethnicities than their own? (because all those ladies are also bucking their cultural systems too), but how [do two geeks of color] find each other in that crazy rainbow when there are so few of us present?'”

Is there really a deficit of Black geek women? Moreover, if most of the current non-black wives are also non-geeks what difference does that make? Why not find a non-geek Black wife? Well, two out of the twenty interviewees did. Their wives are displayed proudly on their Facebook pages. Brandon,* who works in entertainment law, has also dated outside of his ethnicity. Though he found most of the Black girls he dated couldn’t cope with his comics culture, he was happy when he met his Black wife. Theo,* an avid comics reader and sci-fi flick viewer, has never dated outside of his ethnicity. He has also never had an issue with any of the Black women he dated dismissing his dorky side. He says that he “felt that it accentuated [his] appeal.”

None of the wives were interviewed, but this quote from Susan Crain Bakos at the New York Press was rather enlightening:

“We look at one another and exchange a visible frisson of sexual energy in the lingering glances. And our attraction is based first on race. We are not those couples who “happen to fall in love” with someone of a different race or more purposefully come together but out of some greater sense of interracial understanding and respect. Not as politically-correct men and women do we seek one another out. The Internet has made it a lot easier for us to find each other now. Men advertise: ebony seeks ivory. Women write: seeking tall, dark, and handsome. Very dark. We are not the same people who say: Race is not important. It is important to us. We have race-specific desires.”

Also, this movie adds some comic relief to the subject.

*Pseudonyms have been used for all interviewees.

Comments (2)

Workin’ Wednesdays: Feast or Famine

The feast or famine cycle is real! Brainstorming side hustles is what I’ve been up to. During my business’ down time, I try to increase my networks by building relationships with people in my niche. I also use the time when I’m not designing as an opportunity to market heavily. The only problem with this is that the bills keep rolling in. :-O

I’m now looking at ways to create mailbox money for myself (i.e cash that rolls in when I’m not doing anything). Some of the stuff I’ve come up with include downloadable template designs, developing a few WordPress themes, and joining The last one is a joke, but seriously, times are hard.

Comments off

Tuesdays With Mooch & Fuss: Title Goes Here :)

We were busy bees today. Mooch had no time to shoot Tuesdays With Mooch (TWM), as we were preparing for the first day of school tomorrow. You know, hair, 1st day picnic, farmer’s market. Even Fuss was a little neglected today, strewing puzzle pieces and Cheerios here and there. Fortunately, she’s well into her homeschooling pattern and was able to go and get her activities with little direction. She still working on scooping, pouring, buttoning, and the sounds “mah” and “ah.” You may know them as the letters “m” and “a.” We’re doing sandpaper letter tracing and finding things that start with those letters.

Speaking of sounds and language, Mooch has been learning Spanish via Skype from a friend of ours, who is bartering with me for design work. She’s having a lot of fun. Those lessons are in the evenings while I’m preparing dinner. It is very cute to listen to her discuss her day in Spanish. She’s struggling with that double “r,” though. 🙂

We should be back in the swing of things by next week. Feel free to watch her old videos here, and check out more about Fuss here.

Comments off

Marital Mondays: He Says, She Says. What Say You?

He Says: “The kids should only listen to positive things and watch positive images, because their brains aren’t developed enough to parse out the difference and deal with the desensitizing effect of said images and lyrics.”

She says: “The kids need to hear and see a combination of positive and negative. This creates a balanced, whole person. Sometimes negative images are necessary as instruction tools (i.e. history, science, etc.). If children never see those things and have them explained to them, then they’ll never be able to parse out the difference. Watching a lion eat hyenas is part of nature. It happens. Listening to KPFK has taught the kids so much about the world around them. Knowing the lyrics to popular songs has helped them bond with kids they don’t even know. Sheltering kids is socially damaging.”

What say you?

Comments off

Thematic Thursdays: Miss Me With the 9/11 Nonsense

I glanced at the date the other night to help Hannibal understand when Ramadan ends, and I couldn’t help but notice that 9/11 will be here shortly. I can already hear the bitching and moaning of our narcissistic nation, and feel the energy shift as it alternates between the megalomania of a Bel Air teenager and the gloomy pity party of a thousand lost souls.

It has been ten years since the launch of Bush’s illegal invasion of Iraq by way of scapegoating the tragedy of Sept. 11th for his posse’s outstanding gain, and there still hasn’t been a real investigation regarding what the feds knew and how said data would have saved many lives. Such information will only be reserved for conspiracy theorists and Pacifica radio listeners, because overtly digging to deeply would ruin the ‘woe is me’ festivities. Besides, only people who believe in aliens and the Illuminati would challenge the repeated tale of 19 misfits, controlled by a bearded man in a far away cave, hijacking planes with butter knives, right?

The mind-blowing array of questions regarding the planes, the fires, the extra explosions, the cell phone calls and, hell, the dazzling failure of the American air-defense system just makes you go “hmmmmm.” Why did some buildings, namely 7WTC, collapse without being hit by anything at all? Seems like controlled demolition, no?

Maybe my babbling isn’t enough for you. Perhaps you’re the type who needs to see the proof laid right in front of you like a building blown to smithereens. To quote Lavar Burton, “You don’t have to take my word for it.” For you, I bring in Exhibit A, “9/11 Loose Change,” a documentary that will lay it all out for you. You may also check out “a non-partisan association of faculty, students, and scholars, in fields as diverse as history, science, military affairs, psychology, and philosophy, dedicated to exposing falsehoods and to revealing truths behind 9/11.”

You could always choose the blue pill, roll your eyes, and look the other way, because it seems in poor taste to believe that the sheer horror that was Sept. 11th trickles down through the FBI, the White House, The Project for the New American Century, and all of the twisted, mangled souls of the tea party …

… that is if numbness, emotional stasis and death are what you seek. At least try to learn. Knowledge is power. Remember that the red pill goes down hard, though. It’s deep and messy, but it’s necessary. We are in a permanent state of warfare. Swallow.

Comments off