Archive for July, 2013

Marital Mondays: Exhaustion

I’ve had time to process everything that has happened to us in the last two months, and I still don’t have a conclusion except that we are a very strong family. Mooch’s social drama at school came to a head in May just before the all school camping trip. This happened right after our former landlord abruptly decided to put the house on the market. I was forced back into home search mode, which disrupted Fuss’ home schooling, as I also had to pack everything. Then one night Hannibal’s heart couldn’t handle the stress of it all, and thenĀ this happened.

As a result of his new condition, he wasn’t able to help with moving at all. He couldn’t lift over 25 pounds, which meant even Fuss lost her place in his arms. Friends came to help clear the attic. Others brought food or picked up the girls for outings. I continued to drive Mooch to auditions and gigs, find productive activities for my very active toddler, prepare meals, pack, blog, design, convert books to electronic format, build websites, wash and comb three heads, and house hunt. It was exhausting.

Once we moved, everyone was so tired of living out of boxes, that I unpacked and set up the house in just under 48 hours. I didn’t ask friends for help, because they had already done enough — starting with my broken ankle in March. I grew tired of recounting the story and reassuring family members that everything was alright, because it wasn’t really alright.

My father’s constant cries for attention crept under my skin despite my ignoring him for the past month. He enjoys whining about being sick, but doesn’t want to stop sucking down chitterlings and MSG at M&M’s Soul Food Restaurant. I’m not really the type to pity such behavior, but he continues to call and whine. He’s happy to be a burden. We finally visited him this past Sunday.

I took the first week of summer to just hang with the girls, reconnect , and take my mind off of things. I still worked at night — and worried. I didn’t really plan on facing Hannibal’s mortality at this early stage of the game and so close to my mother’s death. Spending the night with him in the hospital was awful. I was the only one there on my mother’s final night, and the doctors were saying horrible things about Hannibal.

He has a cardiac MRI on July 9th, where we’ll hopefully find out what’s causing both the arrhythmia and the valve with decreased output. Once we have a handle on the condition, I’ll feel better, I think. Oh, I shaved off all my hair again last Thursday.


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