Archive for hannibal

Marital Mondays: “Birthdays Were the Worst Days … “


Watching The Blacklist, in my polka dot panties, eating chewy chocolate chip cookies, for 12 hours, with sex breaks and kisses in between … That’s what I want for my birthday. I really want to go away with Hannibal. I don’t even want to go far. It can be a hotel 7 miles away. I want to forget about calendars, bills, lessons, practice, designing, housework, email correspondence, anemia, hair combing, cooking and driving. I don’t even want either of us to drive to the hotel. We can take an Uber. I just want to chill.

This is really just a fantasy. I’ll likely celebrate my October birthday in December when Mooch’s play is over. There’s no way we can go away — not both of us (Well there is, but it involves so much planning, food labeling, worrying, paying people, and stress, that it is not worth it at all). It was fun blogging about it, though.

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Pillow Talk: Haircuts and Grooming

The pillow talk series contains conversations directly from our bedroom. When you and your partner leave the bills, scheduling, and kid talk in the emails, interesting whimsical conversations happen on the pillow.

from bed Thursday night …

M: I had a dream I could solve all of your problems with tattoos. Well, not all your problems, but your “I don’t have time to get a haircut” problem.

H:But I won’t get tattoos. I don’t care for them.

M: So what. Just hear me out.

H: (Listening)

M: We’re going to drive you to Jay and have him shave all of your hair and facial hair off. Then, I’ll pull out my eyeliner and have him draw the whole mustache Van Dyke situation on. Next, I’ll put you in the car and take you to the nearest tattoo parlor with good Yelp reviews (this is your face). The artist will tattoo over what Jay drew. Voila! No more driving all the way to Gardena to get your hair cut.

H: There’s a problem

M: You only found one problem with that? That’s awesome.

H: No, I found tons, but one is just major.

M: What?

H: I don’t like needles.

M: I had a friend who got her EYELINER tatted on. This is your chin. You’ll be fine.

H: My hair is still going to grow back. How does this eliminate haircuts?

M: We can shave you clean at home each week. Skill won’t matter, because you’ll have the necessary facial hair design underneath! We’ll have the guides, you can even leave a little hair coming out of the tattoos if you want to. It’ll look more realistic.

H: Ya think?

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Marital Mondays: Tacos and How We Met


I’m hosting a Black Marriage Retreat in February, and this past Saturday, we had the Pre-Retreat Mixer. It was so much fun! Giving the full details would be a breach of confidentiality, but I can share that we made succulent terrariums with our spouses, we shared stories of how we met, and there were many tacos eaten.

It was great to laugh. I enjoyed listening to husbands dote on their wives. Though many jokes were cracked, I truly feel it was a space of non-judgement. Nothing felt forced or strictly programmed. It was just chill. We talked until after 1am.

I am definitely looking forward to this retreat, where we’ll meet with a financial planner, hear from a therapist, paint with our spouses, and hang out again. It was very grown and sexy.

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Marital Mondays: We Have a Choice

This post is not the normal comedy you’re used to. It is a form of therapy, where I type everything that is on my mind verbatim, just to get it out. I promise I’ll be funny next week.  Probably. 

We’ve been really discussing a plan for Hannibal to leave his job. It won’t happen tomorrow, but I’d like for him to have even more time than he has now to write. I want to see him under less pressure, able to sleep more and worry less.

This type of shift (without winning a billion dollars), would require quite a few changes — changes all of us are not necessarily on board for. For starters, we would probably have to move inland, away from my beloved hometown. Downsizing to one car would be a great idea as well. I would need to get on the ball to get Hannibal a literary agent the way I hustled to get Mooch a commercial/theatrical agent. I’d have to keep my business going at the rate it is going right now, and increase it each year with some serious marketing (though Facebook has been good to me).

We would need to diversify our income streams. Hannibal could theoretically resume karaoke hosting and disk jockeying a couple of nights per week if he weren’t working a 9-5. He’d enjoy it much more. That’s for sure. Sleeping in during homeschool wouldn’t be a problem, since it’s in a separate room. I could teach a few dance classes per week — hopefully at a studio with no recitals (ugh). We could actually pay attention to our Ebay account for a change.

Life is flying by. While I want the best for my kids, I also want a happy, healthy husband. More importantly, I want him to have control of his time. We’re so thrilled when we’re all together. There is no place any of us would rather be than home working together, enjoying each other, and laughing our butts off. We have a choice …

… but what about health care? Savings? Retirement plans? Do we have a choice? I wanted to end this positively, but then reality set in, and I feel trapped, again. He has a heart condition now, so we can’t just be without medical insurance. I’ll have to drive twice as far to bring Mooch to auditions. We won’t be near any friends. *sigh* So much is going well right where we are. Why move and change that? Because we can?

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Marital Mondays: Why Hannibal Should Always Do The Shopping

My lustful eyes wander amidst a sea of blue corn tortilla chips and chocolate covered Almond Dream. Avocados and lettuce are on my list, but I’m licking my lips at kamut pancake mix. Fuss reaches for something. I throw it in. Mooch wants three fruit options for lunch this week instead of two, so I up the ante. Aisle after aisle is filled with delicious dinner delicacies. By the time we reach the cashier, a landfill high pile in my cart makes my $100 limit laughable at best. I never just stick to the list.

Hannibal went shopping last night at three different stores, including Whole Foods AKA “Whole Pay Check.” He spent less than $100, and the refrigerator is fully stocked! There are also plenty of fruit options, six dinner plans for the week, AND he squeezed in the vegan bonbons. The receipts are hanging on the refrigerator door now, but I want to frame them. How does one go into Trader Joe’s without buying at least one of their cute new little treats?

We use an app called Wunderlist, which allows us to sync “shared” lists, and check off the purchased items on our phone or iPad while shopping. It only works if you STICK TO THE LIST, though. That’s why Hannibal should always do the shopping.

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