Marital Mondays: Medieval (Photos)
Hannibal carried the globe around a candle in our living room thirty-nine times symbolizing this last trip around the sun. He got super dizzy, so we’ve vowed that people over fifteen in this house would not have this as part of their birthday tradition. He says that I *have* to do it this year at thirty-one, because I cackled at him the whole time and made him finish.
We had wonderful cupcakes from JAM Vegan Bakery. They are the best on the planet! Trust me. Mooch bought Hannibal a Transformer with her own little money. I got him clothes, because his clothes are … I got him clothes. If you missed the birthday weekend blog, we went Chicago Stepping.
The final celebration of Hannibal’s birthday was a trip to Medieval Times the weekend after his birthday. It was exciting and the food was good, but all I could think about animal cruelty and slow fight choreography. I don’t really have time to go into details, so check the photos below.
Marital Mondays: Step in the Name of Love
“You want to build the foundation. Then you can add the style and flavor. Once you have the foundation, you can do this dance for a lifetime and always come up with new combinations — new ways to move together.”
When I led a timid, confused Hannibal onto the glossy hardwood floor of a surprise “Urban Ballroom” dance lesson, I expected to lock hands, get into the groove, and learn — you know, kinesthetically. It turned out that everyone usually arrives a little late, so we ended up getting a fairly private lesson. I could feel my impatience boiling beneath the surface of my forced smile as the instructor talked and talked before we even got to do the first step.
Then I put my excitement on pause, and really tried to live in the moment. Maybe this fast talking, middle-aged cat from the south side of Chicago had a message that I could apply off of the dance floor. He never made any assumptions, nor did he reference marriage at any point, but the tools necessary to carry out “steppin’” gracefully seemed to parallel those of a relationship so well — once I got over trying to hurry up and get my boogie on.
“Relax your shoulder.” “Let him lead.” “Live in the pauses.” “Trust your partner.”
While Hannibal focused on my waist and nearly busted two blood vessels in his forehead trying to stay on count, I had my own set of issues. I had to fight back my desire to take over and turn that “mutha” out, not break into the cha-cha, relax my elbow on my turn, keep the beat with my feet like a metronome, and somehow enjoy myself in the process. Umm … yeah. My hips still hurt just thinking about it. Did I mention that I wore 5 inch zebra print heels trying to be cute?
Sometimes marriage is like that. Each party is doing their own thing, and even though they are communicating, they forget to enjoy the pauses. The trust gets muddied when we think, “Well, I know she slips in this area, so let me just pick up the slack for her without even letting her know what I’m about to do” or “He doesn’t do this part as well as I do, so let me put some of my expertise on it for him, even though it might cause him to accidentally stumble in another area.” In both the dance and the relationship, we are each in control of our respective areas, and we must maintain that while still being aware of the other’s responsibilities. It’s all enough to make a person get too nervous and just sit down, but while managing all of the aspects, both parties have to look and feel relaxed. Let’s just say, I became aware early in the lesson that Hannibal and I are still very much newlyweds — both on the dance floor and in our daily lives.
The amazing thing is that we actually did learn a lot of dancing! He was building the foundation with both lecture and kinesthetics. While it wasn’t necessarily the way I would have delivered the lesson, I learned so much more than Chicago Steppin’. The teacher had achieved his goal of “not building a house of cards,” and he even managed to teach us a few turns. By the last half hour, we were sent onto the floor to practice our new technique alongside the intermediate/advanced latecomers. I’m not sure I’ve mastered “staying in my lane” (in any aspect of my live), but we had a lot of fun laughing at ourselves and feeling on each other.
Staring at Hannibal’s pelvis for two hours wasn’t bad either.
Marital Mondays: Fried Chicken
M: Why aren’t you typing yet? It’s midnight.
H: I’m backing up first — hence the strange noises my machine is making.
M: Well, while it’s doing that, can you go make me a sandwich please?
H: (agitated with spastic arm making dribbling motion) Baby, I’m I’m reading and searching for for for–
M: (calmly)You’re multitasking.
H: (relieved) Yes, thank you.
M: You don’t have to get all worked up when I ask you for something. You just ran my blood pressure up, and now I can’t stop thinking about how I just wasted a brief bout of high blood pressure on a conversation about a damn sandwich. I could have been eating bacon-wrapped fried chicken for the last two minutes if I’d know the last 30 seconds were going to take a whole year off of the end of my life anyway.
H: I’m sorry, baby. I’m just swamped. (long pause) Wait. What?
Tuesdays With Mooch & Fuss: Fuss Turns 2
Fuss woke up to a hallway filled with purple balloons, cardboard, and duct tape (I’ll explain later) on New Years Eve. She didn’t have to wait for Dick Clark to celebrate, because it was her second birthday! She’s got a host of new milestones to be proud of, and she got several new responsibilities to go with them.
She has fully mastered pouring, so her original wooden kitchen has been turned into a snack bar, where she can help herself to healthy vegan snacks or a glass of water. There is a sponge available for her to wipe up any mess, and hanging above is a crumb sweeper. She also has her own small broom and dustpan. She loves it! One issue was that once we converted that kitchen, she didn’t have one for imaginative play. For her birthday, I built her a cardboard kitchen with teal duct tape and felt food. Let me just tell you — kids LOVE cardboard boxes. She plays with that more than she did the wooden kitchen. Also, it gave me something to do with old shipping boxes, so it was eco-friendly. #winning 
I also to her to the local pet shop to buy two fish to take care of. Their names are “Goldie” and “Panther.” I got her a small aquarium (about $30), food, and water conditioner. Each morning after we do circle time together in homeschool, she has to feed the fish. She really enjoys it — sometimes too much. She also got a plant for Kwanzaa, which she waters after circle time as well.
I wasn’t too thrilled with our vegan cake from Sweet E’s bakery. I wouldn’t recommend it. The frosting was way too sweet and the cake was a strange texture. Because it was her second birthday, she didn’t get a party with friends (I only do parties for 1,3,5,10,13,16, and 18 if they’re lucky), but she had quite a celebration with us. We ate breakfast together (homemade kamut pancakes), we got her two outfits (we did everything in twos), and an Elmo stuffy. She was actually able to carry the small globe around the candle (representing the sun) twice this year without much assistance during our Montessori-style birthday portion.
It was quite an eventful day, replete with a birthday bubble bath and a giant number two drawn by Mooch. My favorite part was that it was relatively stress free. With the money I saved decorating (and feeding people) for a party, I was able to redecorate their bathroom. It’s full of owls now.
Oh, P.S: We went to the Kwanzaa Festival in Leimert Park on her birthday, and she got to see lots of people who know her. Pics below. Enjoy!
Thematic Thursdays: Photo Winter Update
Where the hell have I been? Here it is all categorized and photographed for you.
Marriage
We’ve been dating, cuddling, loving, working, and hanging out with people like this awesome guy with whom Hannibal used to play MUD (similar to Dungeons and Dragons). I took this picture with my arm extended, because there’s no one to take a picture of us when we’re out on the town.
Friends
Brunches. Lots of brunches. Also, a few trips to the mall, in-home hangouts, Skype sessions, phone calls, and general awesomeness.
Home
Rearranging crap. I got rid of an old TV — actually, it’s still sitting on the living room floor if you want to come and pick it up, you can have it for free.
Reorganizing things for Fuss’ new school year. I still haven’t made the calendar area for circle time. I seriously have to do that before January 3rd. Seriously.
Making the girls Kwanzaa gifts — Waldorf dolls, portable dollhouses, clothespin dolls, and quiet books:
Work
The logo for Renaissance Mujer:
The Booking Packet for Cleo Parker Robinson Dance Company (email me to request the full packet):
Schooling Fuss
I put out some pretty cool activities in the last couple of weeks. Among Fuss’ favorite is the washing the baby activity.
She also loves the winter sensory tub (Snow!!!).
Crafting with Mooch
She sewed a doll out of her socks for a handmade gift exchange at school. In return she received a cool handmade pillow. I sewed on one of the eyes to teach her to sew a button. Other than that, she made this sucker on her own after watching me make my first Waldorf doll (the test doll).
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