MOOCH

I took Fuss to urgent care last night after dinner, and I left Hannibal with Mooch to finish up her homework and see that she made her lunch, showered, and got in the bed. When I got to Kaiser, there were full families with two parents three to five kids in each. I didn’t understand why they dragged all of their kids out to a sick environment and disrupted their schedules, when one parent could have stayed at home.

Well, imagine my dismay, when I got home to find a fully clothed, filthy Mooch at the table Googling “owl penis” instead of resting in bed, with a packed lunch in the fridge! It was like one of those scenes from The Cosby Show, where Cliff messes up and Clair goes on a rampage. Except it wasn’t a scene from The Cosby Show, because they didn’t say “owl penis” on The Cosby Show!!!

Mooch is doing a research project on owls for school. She, apparently, has typed, “Do owls have sex?” as one of her research questions. I, of course, am fine with this question. I don’t know how the rest of the parents in her class would respond to a presentation on Owl Sex. So she spent an hour with Hannibal looking for Google images of an owl penis. I came home and in two seconds researched that they technically don’t have one. It’s microscopic, and it’s called a “crevecum.” An owl climbs on top of his female and squirts sperm from his cloaca into hers. Most birds don’t have dicks. Ostriches and ducks are among the few that do. *Sigh* I should have just taken the whole family with me to the hospital.

FUSS

Fuss vomited on Sunday as we stepped into a restaurant, but I typically don’t do doctors for stuff like that. I figured it was something she ate or a stomach virus. I gave her some Temp-Assure and put her to bed. Unfortunately, on Monday, her fever persisted — reaching 104 degrees. I began to ask her if things hurt. For ears, she answered, “No.” Her throat looked fine. Then I remembered that she has been urinating more frequently — like twice per night. Normally, she sleeps through the night and doesn’t pee at all. I asked, “Does it hurt when you urinate?” She answered with an emphatic, “Yes!”

I packed her up and took her. She wouldn’t piss in the cup, because she didn’t have to go at that time. I gave her many chances and finally opted to have a catheter inserted. It was quick, and we got the urine we needed. The test came back negative. We went through a lot of rigamarole, but at least we ruled it out, and there are no antibiotics necessary. Now, I’m giving probiotics, and avoiding soy milk (which I think may be the real culprit). She’s so listless and cuddly and warm. It’s quite a contrast from her usual Tigger-esque nature.

I did not celebrate Mother’s Day yesterday, and it was awesome.  I laid in the bed butt naked watching Scandal and Grey’s Anatomy, while eating cereal.  I must have been well-rested, because by 3pm, I was up putting the rest of our one million books in the shelves.

The girls jumped on their new trampoline for two hours straight!  This allowed Hannibal and I to catch a rom-com on the Starz Network, largely uninterrupted.  That was nice.  We watched “Friends With Benefits.”  Surprisingly, Justin Timberlake wasn’t horrible.

I didn’t feel like cooking, so we all got dressed around 5ish and headed out to Bossa Nova, but as soon as we entered the restaurant, Fuss vomited all over the floor, and Hannibal, and Sunset Boulevard.  I’m so glad it wasn’t really Mother’s Day, because that would have really sucked.  Since I wasn’t celebrating Mother’s Day, we just got take-out, went to Target to grab new outfits for both of them, and finished our grocery shopping for the week.

MOOCH

Mooch class went to San Diego Wild Animal Park today (Wednesday), so she won’t be back until 7:30pm. I was so happy that she was able to go. When she booked a commercial Monday for Famous Footwear, we weren’t sure whether she’d be working Wednesday or not. It’s getting to the point where she’s starting to miss out on certain friends parties or portions of the All-School Camping Trip at her school. Each time, I ask her to choose, she chooses to work. She will begin working on a series in June, so she’s excited about that, also.

Unfortunately, there won’t be pictures from today’s trip, because I didn’t trust her with a camera. She took so much with her — lunch, jacket, Nintendo DS, games — that I didn’t want to risk it. I’ll try to remember to let you know what she learned.  Oh, also, she finally went to an Olivia’s Dollhouse Tea Party event for her friend’s birthday. Meh.  Here’s a picture from that.

FUSS

Fuss is working on the number ’8,’ color “blue,” and a couple of art projects this week. The most exciting thing is that we’re settled now, and we purchased our new fish today! She was so happy there was a purple one. We got three this time instead of two, and I wanted to make sure they didn’t look like the last two. That would seem too much like replacement. Fuss has already named the purple Glass Fish, “Morado.” I’m waiting until Mooch gets home, so she can name the blue Beta Fish (that’s one of her favorite colors in addition to yellow). The black Goldfish is for me and Hannibal. I’m thinking “Unity” for it’s name, but I’ll check with H.

To see more of Fuss’ homeschooling, please click here.

I know I’m a mother, and that Mother’s Day is for me, too. Even though, the last couple of Mother’s Day celebrations have been awesome for me, I just don’t really think of me first. I think of my mom. Then I think of how I can barely even remember her voice anymore. I’m reminded that she’s not here to experience my kids, and even worse, that Fuss never met her. She never will. I didn’t push the feelings away. I just sat with them. I didn’t feel like writing, so I didn’t post a blog Monday (That’s why Marital Mondays is posting today). I didn’t want to act like a prospective “millionaire” and phone a friend either. Instead, I did something really stupid. I picked a completely unrelated fight with Hannibal.

The only thing is, he didn’t fight back. Arguing with myself is the most awkward (and not rewarding) thing, so I eventually just fell asleep. I don’t know if he was even sure what was happening. Hell, I wasn’t sure. I addressed him in a tone that was not our normal way of speaking to each other (Think PMS mixed with a little early labor). He just agreed with everything I said and steered clear of the fire.

In the morning, I felt even more awful. It was only Tuesday night that I realized this had all stemmed from leftover grief, because it got worse. I didn’t cry. I just seemed to bark at everything and everybody that got in my way yesterday. I was easily overwhelmed. My martyr complex took over, and it was just an ugly day. I was reminded of all of the horrible things that happened surrounding her death.  For example, Hannibal wasn’t very supportive after she died.  He didn’t know how to handle anything I was going through, and he pawned me off on three of my friends, Felicia, Evan and Brandi — hoping they could reset me to the girl he had met.  He continued with life as usual, while I was stuck in a bubble of pain, confusion, and heartache.

This morning I woke up and meditated in bed. I focused on joy afterward, and the cloud seems to be moving. I wouldn’t say it’s gone, but I can definitely see the sun peeking through.

I fell in love with an overweight girl named Portia. She is soft to the touch. Calm. She’s also disabled. Portia is a genetically modified turkey, who was rescued from Thanksgiving. The meat industry had every intention of fattening Portia up for someone’s plate, so now her body won’t stop growing, and her legs can no longer support her weight. Portia sits in a wagon all day now. She receives lots of love, healthy food, and water, but it’s too bad that she can’t run around.

Mooch and Fuss piled into a Subaru with me, my sister-in-law, and my brother this past Saturday to visit Gentle Barn in Santa Clarita. We all really enjoyed it! The girls brushed Buttercup, a cow rescued from a cruelty case when she was 8 months pregnant. Fuss was fascinated watching Crystal, a cow rescued from the dairy industry, urinate and take a dump. The girls fed carrots to numerous horses and a fun donkey, named Addison. There was even a beautiful peacock!

We listened to a brief presentation about the history of the barn and how to behave in the upper barn, where the turkeys, chickens, pigs, llama, sheep, and an emu, named Yoda lived. Fuss was timid at first, but soon she was feeding grass to goats, and laying on her favorite pig, Biscuit. Biscuit weighs nearly 1,000 pounds and soon he will have the same problem Portia does. There is, unfortunately, no way to slow down the weight gain once it has been expedited.

We didn’t have a sad time.  On the contrary, the girls cuddled the animals and received an affectionate learning experience that no zoo could provide.  They even got their faces painted for free at the end!  It was awesome.

Like sunrise reflected
in toddler eyes
this is our chance.

Today we can do better,
we can find our way,
encourage greatness,
redeem dreams like lottery tickets.

Start all over.

Transition ain’t easy,
loading cardboard clad baggage
of mortgaged yesterdays
into moving trucks of motivation.
Making the trip
takes gasoline,
elbow grease
patience through stop signs
and stopped types
logjamming your route,
but we gon’ do
what they say
can’t be done.

Open front door to reset
hardwood floors for footsteps
echoing in tomorrow’s memories,
that one spot by kitchen
always creaks
watch your step.

Start all over.

This is it.
Holding hands,
striding heads high into sunlight,
don’t need no shades
don’t need to squint
see possibilities just fine
making mark in grandchildren legacies
stepping up
hitting free throws
getting out of bed
especially when it’s so warm
when she’s so warm
knowing world’s so cold.

Doesn’t matter.
Starting all over,
unpacking lessons we need
conveniently forgetting
boxes of transgressions
that rot foundations
this is a new place,
a new day
a new chance
to make it all right.

Best of all?
We’ll get another one tomororow.
Let’s go!

“Movin’ On Up”
By Hannibal Tabu

Mooch was tired of feeling left out at school, so I told her that perhaps secluding herself in the library studying Greek Mythology had something to do with it. I offered that maybe she should give soccer a shot just once, and that if she made a mistake on the field, she would learn from it. She stated that she didn’t like soccer, because she wasn’t good at it, and that she wasn’t going to try this option.

Last week, I was helping with the auction project for her class, and Fuss wandered out of the project room. When I noticed her gone, I searched the field for her, and who did I spot playing soccer with a huge smile on her face? Mooch. I didn’t bother her. I just watched her play from the window. When I asked her how her day was today, she told me all about her newfound love for the sport. I pretended to be shocked. *chuckle* She said, “I’ve been playing for a week now, Mom.”

I updated Mooch’s website the other night with new videos of recent work, etc. I also designed new typography for her, but I’m still going to redesign her whole site all together. I just need a free moment to do that. Right.

Fuss has finished her dinosaur unit, and I hardly captured any of it on camera. The documenting seems to go well when we’re outside, but it’s distracting to her in the classroom. Anyway, she cut between pterodactyls on strips of paper, played matching games, experienced a dino sensory tub, acted like a dinosaur, and learned the names of several throughout the process.

She’s been taking a little dance class with me, which has allowed her to express her rhythmic ability and get out some of that energy. In the summer, I will revisit gymnastics, and see if she is a little more focused. She walks on brick walls, does little spins, and loves to swing extra high at the park, so she’ll enjoy every second of it once she can stick with the group and not be married to the trampoline.

For more about homeschooling Fuss, please click here: Teaching Fuss.

I drove Hannibal to work this morning. It was fun having extra time to chat and be silly. There may be more carpooling in our future. We have to squeeze the quality into the time we have.

Please feel free to poke around and read all of the stuff  that is already here.

Fuss watering our roses.

FUSS

Letters? Boom! Sight words? Boom! Colors? Boom! Potty trained? A very long ago boom! Not shoving random children at parks and Pottery Barn Kids? Yeah … not so much. Fuss is all of two. Not just the cute, puppy-eyed, soft-skinned, lingering traces of baby smell two. She’s tantruming two, and screaming two, and ranting about how it’s “Mine. Mine! Mine!” two. January and February were rough. I often wished I was on “Who Wants to Be a Mommy,” so I could use a lifeline and ‘phone a friend’ to have them come rescue me until she’s eighteen.

I can’t complain, though. She’s gotten a lot better. She’s more compassionate. She listens (as long as she’s well-fed, well-rested, the sun is in a specific position and the stars align correctly), and she uses her words often. When she’s frustrated, however, her attempts to get her point across can be likened to that of a customer cheated out of their money during a Macy’s transaction. We’re working on it.

Her new sleep schedule is based on a forty-eight hour slot instead of a twenty-four hour day. Don’t Google it. I made it up. I studied her behavior in conjunction with her ability to fall asleep easily at night and realized that a nap every single day was too much for her. What I do is have her nap every other day, with the daytime sleep being from 12-2pm. On days when she naps, her bedtime is 7:30pm. When she doesn’t nap, her bedtime is 6:45pm. Don’t ask me why this works. It just does. She puts herself to sleep at naptime and bedtime with ease by singing or chatting quietly with her doll.

To learn more about the homeschooling that I do with Fuss, please visit Teaching Fuss.

MOOCH

My eldest is reading Hugo Cabret. Actually, by the time you finish reading this blog, she will have finished all 532 pages of it. This morning she was on page five hundred. I never read books that size at her age. Even in college, I stuck to excerpts. Her patience with stories amazes me. She loves stories so much, that I found a story method to teach her the multiplication tables. I’m so excited about it, that I have to share it with you. I found it on Amazon after researching different ways to help children retain the times tables. I knew this way would work for Mooch.

Mooch learning her times tables

The book assigns a word for each number. For example, three is represented by “tree” and four is represented by “door.” Stories are then told on the left page with a corresponding picture (for memory) on the right page. The “tree” and “door” story talks about a tree with a little door in it. Inside the door lives an “elf.” At the bottom of the page, it reads, “Tree x Door = Elf,” which translates, of course, to “3×4=12.” She learned her threes through nines in one day! This book is amazing. We’re working on twelves this weekend. She already knew 1s, 2s, 5s, 10s, and 11s, because those have easy tricks. After this week, it’ll just be drilling from here on out to get them into her long-term memory. What fun!

Here is a link to the book: Multiplication in a Flash

Mooch cheesing at homeschool